The benefit of ’meeting in the middle’ of all social change conversations
There is a website www.meetways.com, their service pitch is:
“Meeting halfway has never been easier. Enter two addresses, the type of place you want to meet, and we’ll help you figure out exactly where to go”.
They assist folks with physically meeting in the middle, with fostering relationships! I would like to begin my musings with that same sentiment, finding a waypoint that is somewhere between two polarities. In a time of passionate, divisive social commentary…I am proposing the concept of meeting in the middle as a productive alternative to the ‘tug-of-war’ style equity/social justice debates of today (especially on social media).
At one end of the rope, are the historically under-privileged populations. Voices of citizens who have experienced many levels of societal marginalization and pain. We are presently in a time where those who were expected to ‘know their place’, now have multiple platforms to express their feelings unapologetically. At the other end rope, are the historically over-privileged populations. Those who have lived more comfortably in their respective communities. Those with physical and behavioural traits that placed them at the top of the societal ladder. We are now in a time where those with historical privilege are being challenged like never before.
Finding middle ground seems like the most logical, solution-oriented goal going forward. Yet, this is much easier said than done, for many reasons. Power and privilege conversations are complex because they are so embedded in our personal cultural psyches. Our individualistic, western social systems must have both oppressors and oppressed to function, those with and those without. Exploitation of under-valued citizens is central to the functioning of capitalist societies. So I suggest we look to the east for wisdom, to pre-historic China, to Taoism. I have been attracted to the yin/yang symbol since I was a young boy. Later, as a university graduate, I studied the Tao-Te-Ching and was sold on it’s perspective of nature as teacher, human morality and balance…the middle path!
The most productive (and most difficult) conversations will happen in the middle. When those who are voicing dissatisfaction with society, are able to sit and communicate with those that they feel are responsible for their subservient positioning. Both sides must find an agreed upon space to discuss their respective perspectives.
Citizen groups that need to find a middle path include:
> the affluent & the poor> men & women> heterosexual & LGBTQ+
> descendants of the colonizers & descendants of the colonized
> those who have physical challenges & those who are able-bodied> those who have mental challenges & those who are neuro-typical > those who have mental health challenges & those who do not
This act of meeting in the middle requires different, yet functional energy from both sides.
Those who have enjoyed historic, societal privilege must bring a humble heart, a compassionate ear and an empathetic voice. Most importantly, the people in the room who are not part of the marginalized group must bring metaphorically tough skin. Often privileged participants want a ‘safe space’ from judgement and uncomfortable emotions. This is a totally illogical atmosphere to expect when meeting in the middle.
Those who have been historically marginalized in society must bring their truthful emotions, passionate narratives and revolutionary energy. Yet, they must also be cognizant of the privileged folks who had the courage to sit in the space with them. This will take an equal amount of empathy and awareness of the feelings of everyone in the room. This may come as controversial to some…yet totally ostracizing and attacking the privileged in the room is very counter-productive to solving the social divide that exists today.
In short, those who have been ‘on top’ our social hierarchy must lower themselves to meet the populations who have been ‘on the bottom’ of our social hierarchy, and are trying to empower themselves (see diagram below):
Growing up in a household with activist parents taught me to be proud of myself at all times, to love the fact that I was part of global diversity and to recognize the invisible hurdles that exist for many in society. As an adult, I see this same central theme in movements like #metoo #blacklivesmatter and #lgbtq on social media. I also see that I have many areas of personal privilege that must come to terms with. To this end, I have recently sat in spaces where women are sharing sad & disturbing survivor stories. I am obviously implicated as a male participant, which can become very umcomfortable at times. Yet, I began to see clearly that if we want to achieve gender equity and an end to sexualized violence as a society…we must meet in these tense spaces initially. We must repair and build relationships! I am applying this same thinking to all areas where there is a divide between specific civilian groups.
In our continued evolution as human beings, meeting in the middle is the next step towards a better world for a larger percentage of the population. Beautiful flowers pierce the earth during the chaotic switch from winter to spring every year…no less dirty is our blossoming as human beings. Bless.
